Yesterday, I went to the bathroom. It was a nice bathroom. The toilet paper was extra soft. It was Lambi. The bathroom was all blue with pretty lightning and a nice little sweet tablecloth on the bathroom’s table. The toilet was marked with a stamp from Ikea. I bet the swedish woman, Greta Ohlsson brought this toilet from Sweden. That evil woman, with her swedish meatballs and spaeaeaetekacka.
Later on today, I ate beef. The beef was delicious, delightful, ambrosial, appetizing, heavenly, luscious and mouthwatering! I didn’t leave a tip because they’re all beneath me, and the beef wasn’t even that good. The aftertaste was abominable.
I met Dr. Constantine the other day, he is a bad man and should feel bad. He even took my chocolate. I almost pulled my gun on him. The chocolate was special to me, it was a chocolate egg, my first invention. The interesting thing about my invention was that it was a toy inside of the egg. But no, Constantine had to take it. This train is full of peasants. Even the conductor, Luis Henry didn’t leave a chocolate bar on my pillow after making my bed.
When I went to bed, I was stabbed. And I died. After my death, they found a handkerchief with the letter H on it. Which is extremely strange and interesting, because my name does not start with the letter H. The letter H could be alot of things. For example, it could mean Huge Half-Human Hears Heroic Horse Help Hippo. It could also be the first letter of a name. They also found a pipe cleaner, and I don’t even clean pipes! This is the work of Dr. Constantine, no doubt. He likes to smoke, and stole my chocolate egg. We are rivals for life, until he ended mine.
I shall avenge my chocolate egg.
